Sweet Tooth
by hatehateslove
Summary: Chocolate was Andrew's first addiction.


Chocolate was Andrew's first addiction. The sugar highs the first highs he'd ever experienced. The chocolate withdrawals the first he'd have to endure. Chocolate helped Andrew cope with his childhood the way drugs and alcohol helped him cope after his childhood was snatched from him.

Ever since Andrew was a kid he'd had a sweet tooth. There were times that he'd give himself stomach aches from how much sugar he'd consumed. The couple times he'd been to the dentist as a kid didn't end well. But he'd learned to make sure to clean his teeth after his first filling.

Everyone knew Andrew'd never turn down a chocolate bar. Some took advantage of the fact.

Chocolate was hard to come by in the system. But Andrew had always been a resourceful child that got what he wanted, one way or another. His chocolate dealers would trade him for a plethora of things, including, but not limited to, money, favors, and secrets. All things Andrew would give up for if it meant he got his next fix.

When he got out of the system he had more freedom, more chances to get his chocolate. He never missed an opportunity to stock up on his favorite Hershey's when he could. Switching homes meant the next ones didn't know, like the last ones, how bad his addiction was. Switching homes became less painful when he started thinking of homes less as home and more as his next hit.

Andrew knew he had a problem. He acknowledged the fact that he couldn't survive for long without his chocolate. He was acutely aware of how his body craved the substance like his heart craved love. And so he substituted chocolate for the love he was starved of. Chocolate had taken over the role of family, home, love for him.

Soon even chocolate couldn't help his ailing situation. He became indifferent. It didn't matter who stayed or who went. It didn't matter what happened or what didn't. He didn't care, or at least, he told himself that he didn't. The fact of the matter was he couldn't. He believed in the sentiment of telling a lie enough times for it to become truth. Telling himself that he didn't care, became all too true.

Chocolate was put on the back burner once he discovered the hard stuff. But it never truly went away. Andrew always seem to find chocolate or variations of it. At times it seemed to find Andrew, creeping on him when he wasn't looking. Reminding him of what, who he was and where he came from.

It wasn't until he met Dr. Betsy Dobson that Andrew learned what it meant to enjoy chocolate for what it was. What it meant to eat chocolate and taste the sweetness of it, untainted with the bitter taste of rejection. What it meant to take a bite of chocolate and not feel the ghost of unwanted hands on him.

It was Bee that replaced all the bad memories Andrew associated with chocolate with soft smiles and gentle hands. It was Bee that stitched Andrew back up as best she could. She was far from the first to try, but she was the first to succeed. Andrew found a friend in Bee. His Bee, that didn't care what time he called. His Bee, that never let him down. His Bee, the first adult he well and truly trusted. Who he didn't doubt, who he could always count on to make him hot chocolate and talk to. No matter how trivial the subject, no matter how significant. He had his Bee.

Neil got the call. Matt had heard from Dan who'd heard from Wymack.

Betsy Dobson had died of a heart attack. The second one she'd ever have, one more than her heart could take.

Andrew hadd had a game, and Neil decided to wait until he got off the court to tell him. Andrew took it the way he had every death he'd encountered thus far. Indifferently. Neil had bitten his lip bloody watching Andrew for the rest of the day. He knew Andrew would be fine, but he also knew just how much Bee meant to Andrew.

He'd had the sense to move to the couch after watching Andrew stare at the ceiling, lying on his back. Listening to Andrew's breathing become more and more shallow, Neil left his boyfriend to grieve in his own way. Neil had made enough noise for Andrew to know he was leaving, had moved slow enough for Andrew to stop him if he so wished. Andrew didn't stop him.

The next morning Neil got an email from Andrew. He was already on his way to South Carolina for the funeral. Attached to the email was a plane ticket for the next night. Andrew would drive, but he was leaving it up to Neil to decide on coming. Andrew had already left in the early hours of the morning. It was an almost 20 hour drive to Palmetto, but Neil knew Andrew would need the time and space.

It was two days later when Neil saw Andrew next. Matt had picked him up from the airport. Matt, Dan, and Neil were the only Foxes, from their time at PSU, at the church service. When they got out of the church, Neil recognized Andrew's car with a purple flag on his car. His window was down and he had a cigarette hanging loosely from his fingertips. Neil told Matt that they'd meet them at the cemetery, and made his way to Andrew's car.

Neil got into the car. The drive was silent. Andrew was wearing black dress pants and a black button up. He looked clean shaven, and Neil wanted to raise his eyebrow at Andrew, but then wondered how exactly he'd expected Andrew to look if it wasn't like this.

After the eulogies and goodbyes were done, people started filing out. Andrew was standing with a hand in his pocket, waiting for everyone to leave. Matt and Dan said their goodbyes and left. Neil had talked with Abby and Wymack at the church. Wymack nodded at her to go on, and she made her way to their car, as Wymack stopped in front of Andrew.

He held his hand out, waiting for Andrew to take it. They shook, Wymack's eyes tightening a fraction. He clapped Neil on the shoulder before nodding at Andrew once, and leaving them.

Neil hesitated. Then turned slightly, giving Andrew enough time to object. He didn't. Neil started to amble back to the car, taking his time.

Andrew unclenched his jaw as he was finally left alone with the open casket a ways away. He took a breath and made his way over.

He didn't hover too long. His lip twitched as he saw Bee's closed eyes, her hands folded across her chest. He swallowed before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a Hershey's. He placed the chocolate bar near the flowers that were placed all around the casket.

He straightened with soft sigh. He lowered his head a moment, before closing his eyes and turning. He walked to Neil's side, closing the distance between them. He slipped his hand out of his pocket to hold Neil's wrist. Neil kept walking, but slipped his hand out of his own pocket so Andrew could properly hold his hand.

Neil wasn't sure how Bee's loss would effect Andrew in the long run, and he was sure that Andrew wouldn't want him to worry. But Neil couldn't help but notice -

Andrew doesn't eat chocolate anymore.


End file.
